Graceful Aging, Curve Embracing
|Sunday at the lake (Pultneyville, New York)|
Earrings: May and Birch
Dress: Universal Thread
Lipstick: Smashbox in Poolside -- on sale!
Happy Monday, readers!
Yesterday was a wonderful day. Tom and I like to spend our weekends taking drives and exploring the many wonderful places around us here in New York. We drove to Pultneyville, which is less than 30 minutes away, and spent time leisurely strolling by the lake. If you are new to the blog (welcome!), we live in a suburb of Rochester called Irondequoit, which is right up along Lake Ontario. It really is a beautiful place.
We first drove to Sodus to go to one of our favorite farmer's markets, Burnap's, and then went to Pultneyville for the rest of the afternoon. The picture above was taken yesterday. It is funny how one iPhone selfie can spark so much internal dialogue.
Normally when I am in a photo, I dissect every aspect. Do I have a zit? Is my skin looking oily? Is my hair windblown? Do I have lipstick on my teeth? Do I look old? Do my arms look fat?
Something different happened yesterday when I was going through pictures. I didn't pick them apart. I noticed all of the grays (or greys if you prefer to spell the word that way) and smiled. My eyesight kind of stinks. Frankly, in the bathroom mirror, I don't see the grays the way I see them in the picture here.
The grays gave me pause.
The old me would've come home and run to the cabinet to grab my Clairol Natural Instincts in Medium Cool Brown to make the problem go away for a couple weeks. Not now.
I have changed.
I do not know if it is because of the pandemic or because of all of the self reflection that I have been experiencing since taking my 200 hour yoga teacher training last year or the coursework I completed to be an EDIT-certified Eating Disorder Recovery Coach. There has been such a dramatic shift. One of my dear friends commented a few months back that I am really in tune with my emotions. I think that is a good thing.
My relationship with my body has completely shifted. I quit dieting last year. I was going back to very old unhealthy behaviors. I have regained weight. I know it. I see it. You know what? I embrace it. I am not addicted to my Weight Watchers app these days. Or to counting and tracking. I eat intuitively. I also have had to eat based on how my body feels due to my Hashimoto's, which means cutting gluten completely and eliminating my symptom triggers (goodbye fresh mozzarella and ricotta, for example). Goodbye craft beer.
I started giving myself grace. It is enough needing to make dramatic changes in what I eat because of an autoimmune disease without trying to pressure myself to lose 20 more pounds. My body is the least interesting thing about me.
Quitting my diet was just the start of a major internal transformation. I have two book recommendations for you: Intuitive Eating and Body Talk. Both are total game changers:
Do I struggle? Sometimes. It is easier now. People can make comments without realizing the impact they have on someone who has had an eating disorder or who has body dysmorphia. Little innocent comments that can cut like a knife. I now say, "Hey, this is not something I can talk about with you" or "What if we didn't talk about how many carbs are in a serving of Grape Nuts?" People aren't mind readers. Nothing will change if you aren't honest about how you feel.